Reality
Are you ready to exchange your illusions for reality?
Coaching has given me a unique opportunity to get inside of the minds of some of the top individuals in the real estate industry. One thing they all have in common is the only thing preventing them from growing the business and/or life is the story they’ve told themselves as to why they’re not. This isn’t unique to just real estate, we all do this in some way.
In the book Million Dollar Habits, the author Robert Ringer writes about what he calls the “reality habit.” In chapter one Robert writes, “Unfortunately, most people live in an unreal world; they create a world in their own minds based on the way they’d like it to be rather than the way it actually is.”
These illusions show up in different ways. Some people tell themselves the story that things are much worse than it really is paralyzing them from taking action. Others create the illusion that things are much better than they really are rendering them comfortable and removing the need to change.
It has been my observation that when someone feels “stuck” or “lost” they have created an illusion that needs to be discussed and explored for truth. If you’re looking to do this on your own it’s fairly difficult without practice because you’ve already bought into your illusion as truth. I’d challenge you to identify the story or illusion you’ve created. Then ask yourself is this true? Your gut reaction will be, yes it’s true. Then ask yourself the follow up question, is this absolutely 100% true or are there any exceptions to my story. Once you find a crack in the story explore it. You’ll more than likely see the thing holding you back is that story you’ve created. Obviously this is much easier to do with a coach, mentor, or someone you trust however with practice it can be done on your own.
Here are some good things to ask yourself when you’re stuck:
Do I listen to confirm what I already think or do I listen to learn a perspective different than my own?
Do I often find myself in debates with others trying to convince me to see their point of view?
Do I realize I’ve dug in my heels in a conversation to the point I’m no longer listening to the reasoning of the person I’m talking to?
Pay attention to the people you spend your time with. What stories or illusions have they created? How are those stories impacting their life? Be sure the story you’re telling yourself is based on reality. Want to see this in action? This is especially obvious in kids. Watch the stories the kids in your life adopt and poke holes in their story by asking questions. If you can introduce a crack in their story they’ll explore the crack on their own and change their story.
A mentor once said to me. “Life is an illusion, pick a good one.”